Things I've Learned Living in a Basement

    The title says it all, I've learned quite a few things these last 9 months. I've been living in the basement of an old run-down house. I'm going to share them with you, so that you can learn from them.

    Despite what one might think, depending on where you are in the basement, anyone directly above you can hear everything you're doing. This is awkward on several occasions. Also, there's a strange phenomenon amongst women in this type of environment. When you tell them to be quiet, they really only get louder. I'm flattered, but everyone is asleep.

    Don't fuck with the spiders, and they won't fuck with you. It's an unspoken truce that has been going 9 months strong. There was one incident, I was overzealous, but it has since been resolved. We no longer speak of it. Remember, they were here first.

    After suffering a poop flood, the floor has become tainted and unwell. Anything that falls to the carpet is also tainted with a horrid stench. Think of it as The Bog of Eternal Stench from the movie Labyrinth. I've set up fallen pillows in positions I can use to hop around the room, I have yet to come up with a solution for the smell. It may have lessened, or I may have gotten used to it.

    These are the most important tips I could think of and hope you have all learned something. I'm hungover and thought it'd be a good idea if I let you in on the secrets of survival. Hope you enjoyed.

~Joe GenoCyDe