Sappy Valentine's Day

    So, tomorrow's the big day. The day lovely couples spend their day swooning over each other, some of them even write each other lovely little poems. Get each other gifts and candy, go out for dinner, maybe go watch a movie. Romance fills the air with the scent of Love.

    Me? I'll probably spend it drinking tequila in the basement in my boxers.

    I remember a time when I spent Valentines Day like everyone else. For example, once, I took a girlfriend to see the Friday The 13th remake. This was before I had given up on the idea of "True Love". She lived a bit out of town, so we agreed to meet at the theater. I showed up holding a giant fucking bear and an equally giant heart shaped box of chocolate. I looked like a goof.

    I fumbled around with this giant bear and chocolates, waiting for her to show up. She walked into the theater lobby and was so excited to see me holding this shit. I'm not sure, but I think we even brought the fucking thing into the movies with us.

    So, even I have been sucked into the whole Vday thing. It's hard to avoid. I think my biggest problem with the holiday is that it's all based on a superficial idea of what Love is supposed to be. Any shmuck can write a poem and claim that's how he feels.

    When I'm with you, nothing else matter.

My heart pounds through my chest at the mere thought of us.

Together.

A river of love for you pumps through my veins.

Your touch sends warm, unexplainable sensations through my body.

And all I can think of is how lucky I am to have you.

    See? I bet I could recite this poem to any girl without a Valentine and send her into a swooning abyss. Feel feel to slap that poem onto a bouquet of flowers. I just got you laid. 

    Don't get me wrong, I believe in Love. I don't, however, believe in "True Love." For a definition that fits my age demographic, I turned to Urban Dictionary. Click the link to get an idea of what people think of "True Love." Link

    It's all Hallmark bullshit. I also don't like the implication that the word "True" gives to Love. It implies that you were meant to be together. I believe you can be completely happy with a HUGE demographic (or not so huge if you suck). My definition of Love is this: Love is being about 75% happy with someone and not wanting to correct the quarter of them that sucks. Happiness consists of the 4 C's(compatibility, comfortability, compassion and sex). At no point in time does my idea of Love require hearts and candy.

    So fuck Valentine's day, stay home and have a movie day. Get comfortable on the couch with your valentine, talk, reminisce, and fuck. That's a perfectly fine Valentine's day if you ask me. Shit, I'll even take a tequila shot for you guys!

~Joe GenoCyDe